The World of Bali Wedding Traditions
A balinese bride and groom posing by a stone tower. Image by Putu Sudana.
Bali is a beautiful island located in the Indonesian archipelago. It’s home to volcanoes, beautiful beaches, and a rich culture.
Bali wedding traditions are a unique experience that deepens the meaning of any ceremony. So whether you are honoring your culture or looking to incorporate some beautiful Bali wedding traditions into your celebration, here’s everything you need to know!
The Unique Types of Bali Weddings
There are several different types of Bali weddings, or pawiwahan, depending on what region the couple originates from and how many Western traditions they want to blend with Bali culture.
Bali wedding traditions are rooted in the Hindu religion and will not be recognized by the community if the couple does not follow the set of rituals leading to marriage.
This is because religious wedding ceremonies continue Balinese culture, bring forth ancestors, and prove that the couple is ready to be married. It’s not a ceremony to be taken lightly; it’s an important spiritual ritual that must be seen through from start to finish.
That being said, modern-day Balinese people often blend modern wedding traditions with Bali rituals to create a new type of event. But how they handle this varies from family to family.
Pre-Wedding Rituals and Preparations
A balinese priest preparing for a wedding ceremony. Image by Bali Wedding Blog.
The traditional Balinese wedding has roots in Hinduism. The celebration begins long before the wedding day. They must follow a set of cultural customs called Pewiwahan. These traditions can vary depending on the area’s cultural customs.
Mepandes
Also known as the tooth filing ceremony, this is an essential ritual for every Bailianese person who wishes to get married.
It takes about 10-15 minutes and involves having their canines filed down to be flush with the rest of their teeth. Since these pointed pearly-whites represent the animal characteristics of humans, getting rid of them symbolizes the couple is ready for marriage.
Memadik
The first day is called memadik. This is when the groom formally proposes to the bride and her parents. The groom’s family will visit the bride’s house for introductions.
Not many people will be there, but it’s a great way to get to know each other’s closest family and understand what life will be like moving forward. While many couples today already know each other well, in the past this was where the marriage contract was negotiated.
This can be an expansive process where gifts and offerings are presented in order to win favor with the bride’s family.
Ngerorod
This ritual involves the couple meeting privately without the presence of their parents. They usually choose a friend's home and spend the whole night discussing their future.
When the sun rises, they tell their loved ones about the evening and announce their intentions to marry. It also signifies that the daughter is transitioning from her own household to that of her husband.
Medewasa Ayu
After receiving permission from the bride’s family, the groom's parents will visit the Sulinggih or elders to decide which wedding day is “dewasa ayu” or a good day. This date is calculated using the Balinese calendar and is chosen to avoid major holidays.
In fact, many couples will hope for a date after the holiday because it’s believed to be one that will make the marriage peaceful, prosperous, and long-lasting.
Memadik
This ceremony occurs three days before the wedding date. The groom will bring the bride to his house. Addended by elders and spokespeople from both families, the group will ask again if they are willing and able to get married.
If the answer appeases the crowd, the union is blessed. They will then have a discussion about the family tree and the ceremonies that are to come.
Wedding Day Ceremony Traditions
A bali bride and groom sitting on the ground smiling at the camera. Image by Artem Beliaikin.
Also known as mesakapan, his essential procession takes place three days after the memadik event. There are several different components that make up this procession, each containing a special ritual meant to bring the bride and groom closer to their union.
Mekala-kalan
This cleansing ceremony is done on the day of the wedding to help encourage a positive, prosperous future. It’s also thought to get rid of anu disharmony that can affect the union. The process has deep meaning because all of the hopes and prayers of their families are bestowed on the couple.
There are several ways to achieve this cleansing. For example, kala septan involves performing the ritual three times and touching their feet with the wedding baton.
Medagang-dagangan
During this ritual, the bride and groom act as buyers and traders. The bride holds a basket containing symbolic items, gits, or “merchandise” and the groom purchases it from her. This translation is meant to represent that there will be no shortage of financial fortune in their lives.
Ngungkab Lawang
Also known as opening the door, this ritual has the groom bringing the bride to his home and ceremoniously opening the door for her.
Traditionally, this marked the bride’s transition from her childhood home to her home as a wife. Nowadays, this can be a beautiful gesture, even for couples who already cohabitate.
Tusuk Tikeh
During the procession, the bride will hold a mat made of young pandan leaves while the groom stabs a keris into it. It’s meant to symbolize the power of the yoni and strength of the phallus and is believed to increase fertility.
This ritual can also be done with a coconut leaf and symbolic sword, depending on the region celebrating the union.
Mapaegat
The last stage in the long procession, the groom and his bride will use a thread to tie two dapap branches together.
This is a symbol of the end of adolescence and beginning of adulthood, where the couple will build a new household with pure, clean hearts. Essentially, it represents the transition from single life to marriage.
Post-Wedding Traditions
A balinese bride carrying a tray of food and water bottles. Image by Artem Beliaikin.
Once the procession of rituals has come to an end, it’s time for the families to celebrate the union and prepare the couple for the next steps of their lives.
Mejauman
Also known as the final ritual in the series, a banquet is held to meet and honor the family of the bride. The two families mix together and begin forming close bonds to bless the new union.
It’s meant to give thanks to the bride’s household and traditionally for the bride to say farewell to her family as she begins her new role as a wife in her husband’s home.
Some couples use this opportunity to throw a western-style wedding, complete with cake, a white dress, and suit for the groom. This allows them to blend the best of both worlds: their rich heritage with modern traditions.
Masakeb
Masakeb or “hiding inside: is when the couple stays in their home together for three to seven days. They do not leave the home during this time period, instead choosing to begin building their lives together and getting to know one another.
Many couples choose to stay in a hotel, much like a modern day honeymoon, while others stay in the home they’ve already established.
Dress Code and Attire
Clothing plays a significant role in any Balienese wedding, especially for the bride and groom. Their colorful wedding attire is often engraved with traditional symbols and phrases.
Colors include rich red and purple tones with lots of gold accents. These wedding outfits are extremely ornate, with both wearing elaborate headdresses for many of the rituals.
While the bride and groom choose their own garments, they are often dictated by their family’s caste level. Certain colors and designs are limited to upper caste members.
As far as guests, most Balinese weddings are formal events. Most women wear a kebaya, or lace top that covers the shoulders and upper arms. This is placed on top of a dress or sarong and sealed with a waist sash and gold brooch.
There is significant religious meaning in this outfit, especially with how the sarong is tied. Men often wear a collared shirt coupled with trousers or a sarong. Fabrics are often light to help the wearer cope with the Bail heat.
Long hair should be pinned up and guests should be well groomed as a sign of respect. And everyone should be comfortable- the elaborate wedding rituals make for a long day on your feet!
Conclusion
Bali wedding traditions are deep-rooted in the culture of this beautiful island. These rituals and ceremonies are carefully crafted to bring prosperity, joy, and peace to each union. They have significant meaning, especially for those who grew up in a Balinese household.
If you are incorporating them into your wedding ceremony, remember to be respectful of the practice and honor where it came from. Each ritual is a special moment that the couple will remember for a lifetime!