10 Classic German Wedding Traditions
A happy bride and groom pop some bubbly in front of a German castle Photo credit: Green Wedding Shoes.
There’s a lot that sets Germany apart from other European countries. Their history, culture, and contributions to our world are woven into the fabric of human history. From art to life-altering inventions, German culture is truly beautiful.
So if you have German roots, are marrying into a family with German heritage, or just really love the culture, it’s no surprise you’d want to incorporate some time-honored traditions into your special day.
And even though modern German weddings incorporate many common Western rituals, there are specific practices that set a German wedding apart from the rest.
Let’s look at 10 of the most fascinating classic German wedding traditions and what they mean.
Unique Engagement Ring
When you think of an engagement ring, you probably picture a solitaire round cut diamond gemstone ring. German couples exchange a different type of ring upon their engagement.
The future groom will give his fiance a plain gold wedding band, much like one couple would exchange at the altar. However, it is German culture for the woman to wear this engagement ring on her right hand until the ceremony.
Once the couple has exchanged vows, the groom will take the band and move it to her left hand, signifying that she is now a married woman!
2. Polterabend
Broken pieces of floral china and porcelain courtesy of Over the Big Moon.
This tradition takes place between one and three weeks before the wedding. It acts as a rehearsal dinner, but has a unique twist.
Each guest brings an old piece of porcelain or stoneware from their kitchen cabinets. They will break these dishes at the party!
The breaking of these dishes symbolizes the banishment of evil spirits. The couple will then clean up the pieces together to represent how they will handle conflict within their marriage.
Never bring glass to polterabend! It’s bad luck to break glass, so it’s to be avoided at all costs when preparing for a wedding!
3. No Peeking
In German culture, it’s said that bad luck will follow if the couple shares a bed before the wedding day or sees each other before they meet at the altar.
So they will sleep apart the night before and avoid each other until the moment their eyes meet as the bride walks down the aisle.
Traditionally, one of them will stay with their parents if they are already living together. Otherwise, they will take the steps needed to avoid crossing paths!
4. No Bridal Party
Most modern weddings include a bridal party or at least a maid of honor and best man standing beside the couple as they say their vows.
German weddings are very different. They do not have a wedding party at all. Each member of the couple will select a witness to sign the marriage certificate with them.
However, these people will sit in the audience during the ceremony. Only the bride and groom will stand on the altar for their vows!
5. Sawing Wood
A newlywed couple saws a log to learn teamwork. Courtesy of The White Wren.
This old custom happens right after the wedding ceremony. The newlyweds will use a long, two-handled saw to cut a log. The log sits on a sawbuck, so the couple will have to pull and push equally to get the job done.
Why saw a log? Because it represents how the couple will need to work together to make their marriage successful.
Without the proper rhythm and equal effort, the job cannot be done well. This is a great allegory for any newly married couple!
6. Auctioning the Bride’s Shoes
Bridal shoes are incredibly symbolic during a German wedding. It’s tradition that she buys her shoes from her savings account.
However, she must pay using only one cent coins to prove she can be thrifty with money. She will save one single cent to wear in her show during the ceremony to ensure love and wealth.
On the wedding day, one of her shoes will be auctioned to the guests. They will fill her shoes with money until the bride puts in the final and often highest bid.
Then, he will bring the shoes back to his wife, who will pocket the funds and use them to kickstart their lift together.
7. Brautenfurung or Kidnapping the Bride
During the reception, sometime between the ceremony and reception, close friends will steal the bride away to a bar for some champagne.
There they will drink and party, typically followed by an accordion player. This is a key component for the next step!
As they enjoy partying, the groom will have to seek the group out, bringing the wedding bouquet with him. In a small town, he will use the accordion music to find his way to his true love.
There are usually games that require him to do hilarious things once he finds them. He has to also pay the bill and collect the corks from all the bottles the party has drunk.
Once these tasks are complete, the whole group will go back to the reception area for dinner.
8. Passing the Bouquet
A beautiful bride throws her flowers to a waiting crowd of female guests. Photo credit: Kristen Mendoza
At a German wedding, the bride carries a bouquet of flowers given to her by her future spouse at the wedding. So instead of choosing what flowers she will carry, she will receive a beautiful hand-tied bouquet from her love.
Once the ceremony (and kidnapping!) has concluded, she will throw the bouquet over her head to a group of awaiting ladies. Whoever catches it will be next in line to get married!
9. The Veil Dance
German brides will wear their white veil until midnight. Then, the veil dance begins! The veil, or a piece of cloth representing a veil, is held over the happy couple as they dance by the single female guests.
As the dance progresses, those holding the veil will try to rip a piece off! According to tradition, the guest who tears the largest piece is the next bride!
10. Crossing the Threshold
At the end of the evening, when the party's over, it’s German tradition that the groom carries his bride across the threshold of their hotel room or home.
This is one of the oldest rituals in a German wedding. It dates back to a time when people believed that evil spirits lurked in the door frame, waiting to enter the home and harm the inhabitants.
In this instance, the groom protects his bride and prevents those spirits from entering the home!
Bonus Tradition: The Spitzwecken
A smiling couple cuts their extra long wedding cake. Photo courtesy of The New York Times.
No wedding celebration is complete without cake! Spitzwecken is a ten-foot-long cake that’s brought into the reception room. It’s carried by 10 important wedding guests.
The ritual starts with these guests trying to enter the room as music plays. They pretend they cannot get into the room because the cake is too big!
Beer is passed around as the group figures out how to get the cake into the room. Typically, they will pretend to ax the door frame, only to find this doesn’t work. The final step is sawing the cake and its plate in half.
The crowd will cheer as the cake finally enters the venue! This cake is the guests’ party favor and signals the end of the celebration. Each guest will get a slice of this cake, plus leftover pastries from the dessert table.
No other favors are traditionally handed out at a German wedding.
How to Be a Good Wedding Guest at a German Wedding
If you’ve been invited to a German wedding, congratulations! When choosing an outfit, use the venue as your guide. If it’s an evening wedding at a fancy venue, stick with formal attire.
But many German weddings are incredibly laid back, so you may see people arriving in casual clothes to drop off gifts and give congratulations before heading out.
NEVER wear anything white, cream, or ivory. Honestly, anything with white, even if there is a print on top, should be avoided at all costs. This color is reserved for the bride, much like at a modern wedding.
Wedding gifts are purchased through a hochseitstisch, or wedding table. This is a wedding registry set up at a German store. If you cannot get to the store or are unsure of what to give, about $100 per guest is a good rule of thumb.
If you cannot afford that much, it’s OK! The happy couple will understand and be happy you’ve shared in their happy day.
Conclusion
Weddings are beautiful in any culture. German wedding traditions are part of a rich cultural history and have meaningful roots, so enjoy observing these time-honored rituals!
If you’d like to incorporate these traditions into your own event, remember to do so with honor, integrity, and respect. Give credit to the culture and carry out the traditions as they were intended to be done.
Whether you choose to kidnap the bride or auction off shoes, or anything in between, these traditions will make your special day even more meaningful!