The Harsh Truth About Destination Wedding Legalities (And Why You Should Just Go to the Courthouse First)
Planning a wedding far from home looks incredible on Instagram. I have helped couples exchange vows on beaches in Mexico and on cliffs in the Pacific Northwest.
But behind those beautiful photos is a mountain of bureaucratic red tape.
The biggest shock my destination couples face isn't the cost of flights; it is the absolute nightmare of foreign marriage laws. If you are planning an out-of-state or international wedding, here is my blunt planner advice on how to handle the legalities without losing your mind.
The "Courthouse Hack" Symbolic vs. Legal Ceremonies
When couples tell me they want to get married in Italy, the first thing I ask is: "Do you want to get legally married in Italy, or do you just want to have a wedding in Italy?"
Those are two very different things. My strongest advice for any international wedding is to have a Symbolic Ceremony.
Go to your local county courthouse on a random Tuesday, sign the legal paperwork, and get your marriage license at home. Then, fly to your destination and have your beautiful, emotional ceremony in front of your friends. Your guests will not know the difference, and you completely skip dealing with foreign governments, translators, and international document authentication.
If You Insist on Doing It Legally Abroad...
If you absolutely must have a legally binding ceremony in a foreign country, you need to prepare for a heavy amount of homework.
A massive myth is that you can just go to the local U.S. Embassy and have them marry you. U.S. Embassies and Consulates do not perform marriages. You have to follow the local laws of the country you are standing in.
The Universal Paperwork List: Every country is different, but almost all of them will demand:
Passports valid for at least 6 months past your wedding date.
Long-form birth certificates: They will not accept the little wallet-sized ones. They need the version with your parents' full names on it to prove you aren't marrying a relative.
Apostille Stamps: This is an international notary stamp. You have to mail your birth certificates to your state's Secretary of State office to get this stamp before the foreign country will look at them.
Certified Translations: You usually have to pay a government-approved translator to flip all your English documents into the local language.
The Crazy Country Rules (Real Examples)
Mexico: You must have your blood drawn in Mexico a few days before the wedding to test for certain diseases.
France: At least one of you must reside in the exact French town where you plan to marry for at least 40 straight days before the ceremony. (This is why almost all French chateau weddings you see online are symbolic.
Before you put down a deposit on a foreign venue, look up the exact country on the U.S. Department of State’s Marriage Abroad page.
The Domestic Route: Out-of-State Weddings
Staying in the U.S. is much easier, but you still cannot just show up in a new state and get married. You must apply for a marriage license in the state (and often the specific county) where the ceremony is physically taking place.
Watch Out for Waiting Periods: If you are getting married in a state you don't live in, look up their "waiting period."
Fast States: Places like Clark County, Nevada (Las Vegas) or Colorado let you walk in, grab a license, and get married the exact same day. (Colorado even lets you self-solemnize, meaning you don't even need an officiant—your dog can literally stamp the license with a paw print).
Slow States: Other states, like Wisconsin or Texas, have strict 3-to-6-day waiting periods. That means you have to fly in almost a week before your wedding just to pick up a piece of paper.
Managing the Guest Reality
If you are asking people to fly across state lines or oceans, the logistics fall on you.
Do not just tell your guests to "find an Airbnb." Put together a solid hotel room block. When people are traveling in unfamiliar areas, they want to be told exactly where to go. Put the closest major airport, the easiest train routes, and the link to the hotel block on your wedding website the exact day you send out your Save the Dates (which should be mailed out 9 to 12 months in advance for a destination wedding).
Destination weddings are incredible, and they force you to trim your guest list down to the people who really matter. Just do yourself a favor: handle the boring legal paperwork at home so you can actually spend your wedding week drinking a cocktail by the water instead of sitting in a foreign government office.