All About Gypsy Wedding Traditions
A gypsy bride standing near another bride. Image by Elisabeth Blanchet.
No matter the culture, weddings are filled with time-honored traditions that are meant to bring families together and help the happy couple start their union off on the right foot. Planning a religious or traditional wedding ceremony often involves some traditions or personalization no matter what.
Also known as travelers, Gypsies are no exception. The broad term is used to refer to several minority ethnic groups across Europe, including the Romani and Turkish travelers. They are best known for their beautiful languages, nomadic habits, and artistic spirit.
This family-centered culture boasts deep, diverse roots and beautiful traditions that are passed down from generation to generation. From bright, showstopping colors to rituals that remind the guests where the couple has come from, there’s no substitution for a Gypsy wedding!
Let’s look at some of the most common Gypsy wedding traditions and what you need to know before you attend one!
Traditions Before The Wedding
Wedding reception dinner tables outdoors with decor. Image by Open the Door Events.
Engagement-Free Proposal
Arranged marriages still occur in Gypsy culture, but many modern couples meet and fall in love naturally. Children are encouraged to marry other Gypsies, but an outsider will ultimately be accepted.
When a Gypsy couple falls in love, there’s no proposal or engagement ring, unless they choose to adopt that modern custom. The man will approach the woman’s father and let him know that he’d like his daughter’s hand in marriage.
The father will direct the couple to their community council, which will start the clock on a yearlong, heavily supervised courtship. After the year, the man will return to the council and seek approval to marry his love. However, some groups require a three year waiting period before allowing the wedding to take place.
Saving for a Vada
During the one year courtship, the couple spends time getting to know each other in a controlled setting. They always must have a chaperone present and avoid kissing or touching. In the past, the families would travel together, allowing the young people to build a foundation for their relationship.
When the year comes to an end and the man visits the council once more, he must demonstrate that he has saved enough to establish a vada or home. This practice is meant to ensure the couple start off on the right foot and allows the man to demonstrate that he can provide for a family.
The Darro and the Grab
Before the official wedding ceremony, the groom will give a dowry or darro to the bride’s family. In modern times, this is usually a special gift rather than money. By this time, the groom has gotten to know her family and wants to show respect and appreciation for them accepting his offer.
Some cultures also do “The Grab” or a simulated kidnapping. After the darro is given, the groom, along with his family and friends, will circle the bride’s home and demand her. Nowadays, she will come outside with a big smile to accept her fate!
Wedding Over the Broomsticks
This pre wedding tradition is common in other cultures as well. Once the couple’s union is blessed by the council and their parents, some will have a brief, unofficial “wedding over broomsticks.”
The families lay two broomsticks on the ground and have the couple hop over them to signify their commitment. This is when Gypsy families will begin planning the official ceremony and reception! Think of it as an informal, pre wedding tradition that seals the couple to each other.
Gypsy Wedding Traditions
A gypsy bride dancing in a crowd. Image by Flickr.
The Plotchka
In the past, the wedding dowry was paid with gold coins. In modern Gypsy weddings, the tradition is carried on by draping the bride with ribbons filled with gold coins. This is thought to bring wealth, prosperity and luck to the happy couple.
The father of the groom will often bring a bottle of brandy, or a plotchka, draped with strings of gold coins. Once he meets with the bride's family, he will drape those coins around the bride to signify it’s time to head to the ceremony. The coins will clink together, making a beautiful sound that lets everyone know the bride is on her way!
Looking to include this tradition into your wedding? Consider wearing a single gold coin on a necklace or a bracelet filled with small golden coins.
Red Wedding Dress
While many modern brides dream of the perfect white dress, many Gypsy brides can’t wait to find the right red gown! That’s because in many factions of Gypsy culture, red is the color of purity and good fortune. Some brides still wear a white gown for the ceremony, but will change into a stunning red wedding gown for their reception!
The dresses are usually custom made and lavish. This is because the wedding day is the most important day in a Gypsy woman’s life, so her family will spare no expense! It’s not surprising to find embellishments, jewels, and even LED lights sewn into each dress. This is because each bride wants to feel special and make a statement, so they are willing to push the envelope!
Eating Bread and Salt
Bread and salt are staples in any diet. But for Gypsies, these resources represent warmth, welcome, and abundance. Elders will bless the couple with bread and salt as gifts. This food will become an important part of the official celebration.
During the wedding ceremony, the bride will place small pieces of bread on one knee and a small pile of salt on her other. The groom will take the bread, add some of the salt and eat it. The bride will follow and do the same.
After this exchange, the father of the groom will pass around a bottle of brandy or plotchka to all of the wedding guests. Once it is drained, it will be refilled with wine or a spirit to be served at the reception.
Traditions for After the Wedding
A bride and groom staring at one another. Image by Joyz Amora.
Knotting the Diklo
A diklo is a woven head scarf traditionally worn by Gypsy women. After the ceremony, the mother of the groom will place a diklo on the bride’s head, knotting it beneath her chin. This is a gesture to welcome her into the family and signify that the woman is starting her life as a married person.
In the past, the bride would never be seen without her diklo in public. Now, this ritual acts as a loving nod to the past as the mother in law welcomes her new daughter with open arms.
The Wedding Feast
Across most cultures, a wedding ceremony is followed by a lively celebration filled with dancing, drinks, and delicious food. Gypsy weddings are no different! The families of the bride and groom will join together and mingle.
In the past, the families would roast a whole pig and serve potatoes, pies and cakes. Now, couples choose their favorite foods to share with their guests. There’s usually lots of drinks and even more dancing.
Customs for Gypsy Wedding Guests
Being invited to a gypsy wedding is an honor. The dress code depends on the formality of the event, which could range from casual outdoor weddings to lavish indoor black tie events. Be sure to communicate with the bride and groom to ensure you are properly dressed!
It’s important to bring the right gift to the wedding as well. Gypsies favor gifts of money over all others because they feel strongly that the couple should be able to forge a life of their own.
Traditionally, the couple would live with the groom's family until they’ve had a few children. Today, the focus is on giving the couple enough financial stability that they can start their own home right away.
Conclusion
Weddings are symbols of life and tradition all over the world. In the Gypsy culture, weddings are amongst the most important rituals. While many couples opt for modern weddings, they look for ways to bring in aspects of their culture to their special day.
Whether you are of Gypsy blood or want to honor the culture, remember to do your research and do so with respect. This will ensure your special day is everything you dreamed of as you make the celebration uniquely you!