How to Write a Wedding Check for a New Couple
A wedding card box Via Greenvelope.com
Many say “money has no sentimental value,” but many couples can argue that. After all, have you ever heard someone say “I hate getting money as a gift?” No? Me either.
That’s because when you shell out a ton of cash on a wedding, it can be a true delight to recoup some of it in the form of monetary gifts, no matter how big or small.
If you’re considering gifting money to the soon-to-be couple, a check is a great way to deliver it. But when a couple is getting married, so many things come into play.
Is anyone changing their names? If so, who? Do they share a bank account? Should I use “and” or “or” when addressing them? These questions continue to distress check writers alike.
But we’ll simplify it for you. Learn how to write a wedding check step-by-step, along with some pros of using a check and commonly asked questions.
Why Money is a Good Wedding Present
Wedding Costs - Regardless of where the ceremony is held or how big the affair is, weddings are expensive for any couple. Once you add up the venue, food and drinks, attire, decorations, and everything else a wedding brings, the couple spends thousands or tens of thousands of dollars. Shelling out this kind of money can be stressful and take several years to recuperate. Therefore, providing them with a monetary contribution, even if it’s only $20, helps them gain some of that money back.
Honeymoon Festivities - Most couples go on a honeymoon after their wedding and use the money they receive at the wedding as a contribution to their activities, airfare, and overall trip. By gifting them money over a traditional gift item, you could pay for one of their meals, a daily activity, or a simple souvenir.
They May Not Need Items - Some couples don’t need any household items by the time they get married. They could have lived together beforehand and brought many items and appliances to the relationship. They may even be minimalists and not enjoy having much stuff in their homes. Whatever the reason is, not everyone enjoys receiving items they may or may not need. But everyone enjoys money they can spend on a date or themselves.
It’s Easy and Loved by Everyone - Let’s face it: it may not be true that money has no sentimental value, but it is true that it’s easy. But that isn’t a bad thing. Money is easy because it doesn’t require a style, a preference, or an investigative search to see if the couple already has it. It’s also appreciated by everyone. Therefore, gifting money, whether as a check or cash, is an easy gift that every couple will love. It’s a win-win.
Step-by-Step Guide on How to Write a Wedding Check
Card envelopes and artificial flowers.
Determine What Names You Should Use
The first and most critical step in writing a wedding check is determining what names should be used on the check. You should never assume a bride or groom will keep or change their last name. Additionally, they may even decide to hyphenate their names, and this could be done in two different orders.
The only way to be sure you get the names right is to ask. Speak with a member of the wedding party, a close family member, or the couple themselves and ask them what each person’s name will be after the wedding. If no one has a definite answer or if you want to avoid any trouble altogether, use the couple’s maiden names.
Using maiden names is often the easiest route. Even if someone does decide to change their name, filing and finalizing the paperwork to get their name changed takes time, and the couple may wish to use the money sooner. Writing their maiden names will ensure the couple can cash it right away.
Writing the wrong names can result in the couple having severe difficulty depositing the check or being unable to cash it all together, so make sure the information you decide on and write on the check is correct.
2. Writing the “Pay to the Order of” Line
Once you have the last name information, you can fill in the “pay to the order of” line. But how it is written is also extremely important.
Many people are often confused about if they should write “and” or “or” between the couple’s names. The answer is: write “or.” Always write “or.” Here’s why:
If you write “and,” then the couple must have both names on the bank account to cash it. If you write “or,” then the money can be deposited in a joint or separate bank account with only one of the couple’s names on it.
This may seem like a small detail, but it can cause much trouble if done incorrectly. Let’s say the couple decides to never get a joint bank account. Or, let’s say they do, but it takes two months for whoever changed their name to legally change their name and open a joint bank account.
By writing “and” in both of these scenarios, your check cannot be cashed until these requirements are met. So it’s always best to write “or” so any partner in the marriage is able to deposit and access the money.
Now that we’ve walked through that write “(name) or (name)” in the “pay to the order of” line.
A bride’s must-haves for their wedding.
3. Calculate How Much Money You’re Gifting
Everyone appreciates money, even if it’s only a small amount. After all, it’s the thought and effort that counts the most. Not everyone is in a place where they can gift hundreds of dollars to the soon-to-be couple, and that’s okay.
But it is crucial to determine how much you’re going to spend. There’s a general rule of thumb depending on your relationship with the couple.
According to How Much Should I Spend on a Wedding Gift, sourced from Zola, “According to Zola, the average person spends 50 to 100 dollars on a wedding gift. They suggest the following breakdown: coworkers or distant relatives should spend 50 to 75 dollars. Friends or relatives, 75 to 100 dollars. For close friends, family, or if you are in the wedding party, you should spend 100 to 150 dollars—or more.”
It’s important to remember that this is just a general guideline. If you only have $25 or $50, the couple will still appreciate your effort and thoughtfulness.
4. Don’t Date the Check Too Early
Once you address the couple and determine the monetary amount, you must add a date to the check. But make sure you don’t date it too early. If you write the check a month in advance, be sure to date it a few days before the wedding is set to take place.
Checks expire after a certain amount of time, and there’s no way to know when the couple can cash it. What if they’re planning a month-long honeymoon and don’t sort through their gifts until a few weeks after they return?
The check may be invalid by then, and therefore, your gift will never be received. So it’s always best to try to date it as late as possible, but never after the day of the ceremony.
5. Make Sure You Sign the Check
This may seem like a silly step to write, but it’s an easy one to forget - and causes a lot of trouble if forgotten. The check can’t be cashed without your signature at the bottom, so make sure you don’t forget.
6. Determine How You’ll Gift it to the Couple
Now that you’ve adequately conquered how to write a wedding check, it’s time to determine how you’ll gift it to the couple. When gifting cash or a check, it’s always best to include it inside of a wedding card.
This way, it won’t get lost easily, and you can add your wedding wishes and congratulations along with it. Will you mail it to them? Will you give it to them at the wedding?
If you plan on giving the check to the couple on their wedding day, ensure it’s placed in a secure location, such as a locked wedding card box. By placing it in a secure location, it won’t get stolen, blown away, or misplaced.
Many guests wish to give their cards or checks to the couple directly, but it’s actually best not to do this. They are speaking with tons of people, drinking, dancing, and a host of other activities. They may forget it or set it down in an unknown location while celebrating their wedding festivities.
FAQs
How Should I Address Newlyweds on a Card?
Unless you know exactly if and who is changing their names after the wedding, it’s best to write something straightforward, such as “Ashley and Craig,” with no last names or “The newlyweds.” If you’re close with the couple, you can use your relationship to write something more personal, like “My sister and her partner”, “My son and daughter-in-law”, or “My best friend and his new wife.”
What Do You Write in a Check Memo for a Wedding?
Write whatever feels right to you! The check memo is a great place to add a short and sweet message for the new couple. You can write something simple like “Congratulations!” or “For the honeymoon.” You can also write something more sentimental if you’re close with the couple, such as “May all your dreams come true” or “I love you both.”
If your special couple is forgoing gifts in favor of a honeymoon fund, check out our article on how to set up a honeymoon fund to see how you can deliver your cash gift to the couple in the most appropriate way.