Dive Into Sri Lankan Wedding Traditions
A Sri Lankan couple enjoys their wedding guests. Photo Credit: Wedding Chicks
Sri Lankan culture is best known for its rich blend of diverse influences. Because it is nestled in the Indian Ocean, you’ll notice hints of Buddhism, Indian, and Western traditions within Sri Lanka’s heritage.
This means weddings on the island nation of Sri Lanka are gorgeous, festive affairs that hold deep-rooted meaning for its citizens.
So whether you or your spouse have Sri Lankan roots or you want to honor the country within your wedding ceremony, there are many special traditions and rituals you can use to strengthen your celebration.
Rituals Before the Wedding
An engaged couple poses. Photo Credit: Traditional Sri Lankan Brides
Consulting the Astrologer
Astrologers hold much importance in Sri Lankan culture. They are often consulted for major life events, such as births, career switches, and of course marriages. That is because many believe these professionals hold key insights into their future and can help them make more informed choices.
When a couple starts planning a wedding, the family will consult an astrologer to determine whether they are compatible. If so, they will look for an auspicious day for them to wed. This is called Nekath.
Astrologers will consider the couple’s star charts, as well as other aspects like numerology and family symbols to determine the luckiest and most harmonious times for them to get married.
Traditional Attire
A Sri Lankan couple in their traditional garments. Photo Credit: Wevu Photography
In preparation for the wedding, the couple will find clothing that reflects their social status and family traditions. The bride will often wear a saree or Kandyan bridal costume. It consists of lots of pleating on the skirt, a tight jacket, and lots of embellishments and ornate jewelry. Brides will pair bright colors with traditional white, like red, silver, and gold.
The groom will wear something called National Dress, which includes a sarong, a crisp white shirt, and an embellished jacket. They may also wear Nilame Costume, which is a matching suit and jacket with heavy embroidery. His outfit will often match the bride’s.
Hetti Pathtuwa
To bring blessings from ancestors on the other side, the couple and their families will visit a sacred temple or purchase traditional oil lamps to light.
They will set them ablaze as they ask for blessings from deities. This ceremony is believed to bring good fortune to the marriage.
The Poruwa: A Sri Lankan Wedding
A Sri Lankan couple poses atop of their Poruwas. Photo Credit: A Peachy Affair
Sri Lankan wedding ceremonies are called the Poruwas. It’s full of meaningful rituals meant to demonstrate family support and offer blessings for the newlyweds. Depending on how traditional the couple is, guests may expect to sit on cushions on the floor so everyone can observe the various rituals.
The couple will walk towards each other with their palms together before they move to stand on a Poruwa, or elaborate wooden platform.
They will remain there for all of the ceremonies and rituals. The Poruwa is covered in betel leaves, coins, rice, and flowers to symbolize all the successes of a happy marriage.
The future bride and groom are brought into the ceremony by male figures from their families, typically the fathers or uncles.
This symbolizes family unity and support. Other family members and religious figures will offer blessings for a marriage filled with fertility, longevity, and abundance.
The couple will exchange rings and have their pinky fingers tied together with a golden thread. Also known as Nalangu, this will bind them for the remainder of the ceremony. Sometimes, the couple will participate in Mangalsutra, which means the groom places a symbolic necklace around the bride’s neck.
Betel leaves, an important symbol in Sri Lankan culture, are dropped onto the wooden platform to symbolize an abundance of blessings for the newlyweds. The couple will also offer them as offerings to their ancestors during the ceremony.
Finally, the fathers will pour water over the couple’s linked fingers. This represents the flow of their future marriage and love for each other.
Closing the Ceremony
At the end of the ceremony, the bride will participate in a homecoming ritual where she is welcomed into the groom’s family with open arms.
Historically, this would have happened at the end of the honeymoon period. But more modern Sri Lankan weddings have adopted the habit of having this touching moment occur as a culminating moment of their ceremony.
As the couple steps off of their marriage platform, someone will break open a coconut to bless them with many children! From here, the couple and their families will make their way to the reception site, where even more guests will join them to celebrate their vows!
Traditions for the Wedding Reception
A Sri Lankan couple dances at their wedding reception. Photo Credit: Rock my Wedding.
Milk Mixing
At the start of the reception, the couple will participate in “Milk Mixing.” They will pour fresh milk into a decorative bowl or vase to represent the blending of two families.
The couple and their families will also eat a rice cake made with milk and rice. The groom's mother will hand the newlyweds some milk to drink as well. The couple will offer their parents betel leaves to show respect and gratitude and ask for more blessings.
Lavish Feast
A Sri Lankan wedding reception is an amazing culinary adventure filled with traditional dishes in modern favorites. You can expect to find a variety of curries, rice accented with aromatics, and
The feast puts a spotlight on the culture’s hospitality and value of sharing what you have with those you love. You can expect to find big, bold flavors and huge portions to eat throughout the night.
The meal is served in courses and often done family style. This means large portions are placed at each table and guests will serve themselves from the platters. As the dishes are finished, more will be brought out. So if guests miss a bite, no worries, more is on the way!
Sweetmeats
In Sri Lankan culture, anything that is considered a sweet confectionary bite is a “sweetmeat.” You’ll find a variety of sweet treats to enjoy after the main courses, such as kavum, or sweet pancakes, pani walalu and kokis, or crispy spiralized pastry.
These items often include different applications of milk solids, nuts, sugar, and other regional ingredients. They can also be edible or incorporated into drinks!
Traditional Music & Dances
No Sri Lankan wedding is complete without entertainment! Traditional dances like Kandyan dance, which feature elaborate hand movements and impressively rhythmic footwork. and Low Country dance, which has its own distinct movements, are done by all of the guests and even the happy couple.
You can expect to hear popular songs and even ceremonial drummers as guests dance into the night. Some couples even hire traditional dancers to entertain the crowds.
How to Be a Good Guest at a Sri Lankan Wedding
A Sri Lankan couple poses with their well-dressed wedding guests. Photo Credit: WeddingWire
If you’ve been invited to a Sri Lankan wedding, you’re in for a treat! You’ll want to take extra steps to ensure you are a model guest and enjoy everything the celebration has to offer.
First, make sure you dress respectfully in formal clothing. Women can wear a saree or a conservative, embellished dress. Make sure your outfit doesn’t show too much skin or is too provocative. Weddings are considered family events, so you should dress appropriately.
Men should wear a suit and tie, or a tux, depending on the time of day. Avoid wearing any head jewelry, as this is seen as disrespectful to the bride.
Always arrive on time for each ceremony or celebration. Be quiet and respectful during the ceremony. Use your best table manners at dinner and sample as much food as your diet allows.
You should also take time to offer congratulations to the happy couple as well as their immediate family members.
You should also observe cultural norms to avoid standing out or disrespecting the families. Dance appropriately on the dance floor and avoid being too loud or boisterous, as you may distract from the newlyweds.
Finally, it’s important to bring the right gifts. Anything made of silver is considered an auspicious gift. Photo frames, salt and pepper shakers, or jewelry are all popular choices. You can also give money to help the couple fund their honeymoon or their new home together.
Conclusion
Sri Lankan culture centers around food, family and the sharing of abundance. Their weddings are filled with important and meaningful ceremonies and rituals meant to help a couple start their union off on the right foot.
If you want to include some of these time honored traditions in your own wedding, always use caution and respect. Ask members of the culture for tips and tricks to ensure you are being respectful and doing the rituals correctly.
At the end of the day, your wedding is a reflection of who you and your future spouse are. Including references to your heritage is a great way to personalize your ceremony and add even more meaning to your special day.