A bride shows off her ring at her bridal shower. Photo Credit: Rachael Shek Photography

Understanding the Purpose of a Bridal Shower

Bridal showers came to be as a way to provide the bride with household items she would need to establish a home with her spouse. They are a way to celebrate the bride-to-be’s upcoming marriage with close friends and family members.

This event gives the guests an opportunity to offer support and well-wishes to the future bride while showering her with love and gifts.

As with all wedding events, this day is all about her, so it’s important to ensure every choice you make highlights the bride and her upcoming nuptials.

Let’s look at other bridal shower etiquette tips, along with hosting responsibilities and guidelines!

Hosting Responsibilities

Who Should Host?

Traditionally, it’s the duty of the bridal party and they would be the ones to host the event. These are the bridal party members who would know the bride the best, so they’d be able to put together a guest list of all her favorite people.

However, nowadays, it’s acceptable for family members to host the bridal shower. This is because they may be more financially sound than the maid of honor or just want to spoil the guest of honor on her special day.

In an even more modern shift, co-hosts are becoming more and more common. This means two or more people band together to share responsibilities and costs for the bridal shower.

Considering Finances

The host or hosts are the ones who pay for the shower. Occasionally, the bride’s family may chip in to make the event even more special.

To avoid overspending, the host should set a budget early and track their spending. Ask for help from others to mitigate costs and reduce the amount of tasks that need to be handled by one person.

For example, hosting a potluck bridal shower will reduce food costs greatly. Each guest would bring a dish or dessert to share that fits the bridal shower theme.

Asking for help will help the host stay on budget while still throwing the bridal shower of the century.

Planning the Bridal Shower

Timing of the Event

Set the date for the bridal shower around 1-3 months before the wedding. This is when most plans are already set and preparations slow down for a hit. That way, the bride can let loose and enjoy her special day without worrying over last-minute details.

Consider your guests’ schedules and travel needs for out-of-town attendees. Choose a time of day where everyone will be bright-eyed and ready to celebrate.

Selecting the Venue

Your bridal shower venue will mainly be determined by your budget and guest list. Home-based bridal showers are extremely affordable if you know someone with the space to accommodate your guests.

External venues can make it easier to amplify your theme, but definitely cost a pretty penny.

A fun alternative is a virtual bridal shower. Guests can send their gifts directly to the bride’s home and watch as she opens them on Zoom. You can still have fun games and socialization opportunities online.

Plus, you’ll include faraway loved ones who can now join in on the fun!

Theme and Style

A bridal shower theme is the perfect way to align the event with the bride’s interests. It can be as simple as her favorite color or channel a passion she has.

Make sure you choose a theme that aligns with the bride’s culture and allows you to still follow bridal shower traditions. Don’t pick anything to risqué because older family members will be there.

The theme should be inviting and not make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Guest List Etiquette

Who to Invite

Traditionally, a bridal shower is meant for close friends and family members of the bride. You can also choose to include workplace colleagues and distant relatives if the bride wants them there.

Don’t feel pressured to invite the whole wedding guest list: the shower should be a more intimate affair.

Invitation Guidelines

Send bridal showers 4-6 weeks in advance to give guests time to fit the event into their schedule. Include all the necessary details, such as date, time, location, as well as RSVP directions and registry info.

Digital invitations will save you big bucks and make it easier to track RSVPs. Printed cards may cost money, but they are more traditional and personal. Choose the type that fits the bride’s style.

Invitation wording for your shower should reflect the theme, tone of the day, and most of all - the bride!

Gift Etiquette

Brides can open their gifts at the shower or at home. Photo Credit: Woman Getting Married

Gift Expectations

The purpose of the shower is to “shower” the bride with love and support. Gifts may be the first thing you associate with a bridal shower, but actually gifts are more of a custom than a requirement.

Guests should bring a card that expresses their joy for the bride-to-be and maybe offer some advice. However, if a guest doesn’t bring a gift, it’s not the end of the world.

Registry Information

Put URLs or bridal shower registry information on the invitation. If the bride already has everything that she needs, consider alternative registries. Have guests donate to fund experiences or charitable causes.

Handling Multiple Showers

If the bride has been blessed with more than one shower, say one with family and one at work, make sure to share the same registry links. That way, both guest lists will be shopping from the same list to avoid doubling up on gifts.

You can also assign a different store list to each party.

Opening Gifts at the Shower

This is a tough call and totally depends on the bride’s comfort level. Some people enjoy opening the gifts so the guests can ooh and aah over the presents. However, some feel it is awkward to sit and open the gifts in front of a crowd.

Involve the guests in the gift opening process by having them present their gift to the bride or explain how they can use the gift in their married life.

Activities and Entertainment

Planning Games and Activities

Select inclusive and tasteful wedding shower games that guests of all ages can enjoy. Always consider the bride’s preferences when planning games, as well as the guest demographics. Be mindful of the presence of older or younger guests.

Speeches and Toasts

Plan a few speeches and toasts during the event. The maid of honor, mother of the bride, and an important female from the groom’s side should speak.

All toasts should have a positive tone and center on the excitement of the upcoming wedding day.

Music and Ambiance

Music sets the tone for any event. Choose instrumental versions of the bride’s favorite songs or ones that fit the shower theme. Create a playlist that will last the length of the event and play it at a volume that won’t overpower conversation.

Food and Beverage Etiquette

A bright, inviting bridal shower food table is a must. Photo Credit: Kelley Nan

Menu Planning

Choose a menu that highlights the bride’s preferences. Be mindful of any dietary restrictions and offer alternatives that are equally as satisfying.

Match the menu to the time of day. Brunch, lunch, afternoon tea, or evening cocktails are just some options that will guide your thinking.

Alcoholic Beverages

If the bride wants alcohol present, give her what she wants. However, be mindful of guests who do not or cannot drink. Offer alternatives they can enjoy aside from water.

Serving Style

Match the serving style of your menu to the vibe of the event. Seated service is super formal while buffets are great for casual events.

Self service stations are perfect for any event, but hiring staff is perfect if you don’t want to worry about setting up, serving, or cleaning up.

Dress Code Considerations

For the Bride

The bride should be in white and stand out. Her outfit should match the formality of the event and contain accessories that will make her stand out as the guest of honor.

For Guests

The bridal shower invitation should offer clues or direct instructions on the dress code expectations. Make any cultural or themed attire guidelines clear. If they aren’t communicated, dress in your Sunday best.

Dress Code Etiquette

Never ever, ever wear white, ivory, cream, or any shade of white to a bridal event unless specifically directed to on an invitation. Be mindful of cultural attire norms and dress conservatively as a precaution.

Etiquette for the Bride

A bride poses with her closest friends at her garden-themed shower. Photo Credit: Kelly Calabrese Photography

Expressing Gratitude

The bride has the responsibility of showing her guests how thankful she is for their presences and contributions. Thank the hosts and guests at the start and the end of the event. Take the time to touch base with each one.

Involvement in Planning

Unless it’s a surprise shower, the bride can have some input. She should offer her opinion but avoid overstepping. This could make the hosts feel stressed.

Managing Expectations

The bride-to-be should be gracious about all gifts, the guests’ efforts, and the time her host spent putting the event together. Even if it falls short of her expectations, the bride needs to be mindful of everyone’s feelings and show gratitude regardless.

Etiquette for Guests

RSVP Responsibly

If you’ve been invited to a bridal shower, respond promptly with whether or not you’ll be attending. Honor your commitment and show up as expected.

Participation

Even if you’re shy, engage in the activities and games. Mingle with other guests and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Nothing is worse than planning games and activities that no one will participate in!

Social Media

Wait until the end of the event to share photos from the event. Ask the host if there is a special hashtag you should use or if they would prefer to not have photos online. Always respect the host and bride’s wishes.

Thank-You Notes and Follow-Ups

Timeliness

The bride should send thank you notes to all guests within two weeks of the shower. She can write a few a day so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed.

Personalization

As the bride writes her thank you notes, she should refer to the list her maid of honor kept during the event. Mention specific gifts or gestures in each note to really show her appreciation.

Digital vs. Handwritten

Nowadays, both digital and handwritten thank-you messages are acceptable. Choose the medium that speaks to you and your guests.

You may want to mix and match mediums to appease older guests who may not appreciate a digital thank you.

Special Circumstances and Modern Twists

Modern aesthetics and activities can bring bridal showers into the 21st century. Photo Credit: Nouba Weddings

Co-Ed Bridal Showers

More and more couples are opting for co-ed showers so they can share in the joy of the event. Adjust to a “Jack and Jill” shower by incorporating more masculine touches to decor and ensure games accommodate both genders.

Second Marriages and Non-Traditional Couples

Non-traditional couples should be valued just as much as others. Make sure all involved are sensitive to their unique situation and that they receive the same honor and respect as first time or traditional couples would receive.

Cultural and Religious Variations

Make sure everyone is educated on the traditions of both sides of the family. Ensure that you respect each family’s heritage and incorporate the different traditions to demonstrate how the two tribes will be united in this marriage.

Virtual Bridal Showers

For online celebrations, make sure everyone tests their equipment ahead of time and all activities and games are planned out.

The host should act as an emcee and involve all guests in some way. This could be with a game, a Q & A session, or just calling out their name and asking them how they are.

Common Etiquette Mistakes to Avoid

Hosting Too Close to the Wedding Date

If the shower is too close to the wedding day, the bride will be inevitably distracted by her never ending list of to-dos before her I-dos. Plan it 1-3 months ahead so she can truly enjoy the day.

Overstepping Financial Boundaries

Avoid pressuring hosts or guests to overspend. This will put a damper on the day for everyone. Instead, put the focus on the celebration of the special lady rather than gifts.

Ignoring the Bride's Wishes

Always err on the side of the bride. It’s her day, afterall. Make sure the event reflects her unique preferences.

Unique Ideas to Enhance the Bridal Shower

Interactive Workshops

Take the bridal shower to the next level by offering experiences like cooking classes, craft sessions, or even wine tastings to make the event even more memorable.

Charity-Based Activities

Incorporate philanthropic elements that reflect the bride’s values. This could mean asking for donations of items for shelters and pantries or hand-writing cards for veterans during the event.

Personalized Keepsakes

Have guests contribute to a memory book or video message reel for the bride. Present it during the event!

Conclusion

Navigating bridal shower etiquette ensures a harmonious and enjoyable celebration for the bride and her loved ones.

By sticking to these guidelines and adding fun, personal touches, you can cultivate a memorable event that honors tradition while still embracing modern sensibilities.

A Know-All for Bridal Shower Etiquette