Bridal Shower vs. Engagement Party vs. Bachelorette Party
Pre-wedding parties come in all forms and sizes, often including cultural traditions, intimate moments, and rehearsals. While each couple is different, the most common pre-wedding parties are bridal showers, engagement parties, and bachelorette parties.
However, newly engaged couples are often unsure what the differences are between a bach party, engagement party, and bridal shower - and which ones they should invest in. Learn which celebrations are right for you below.
Understanding Each Celebration
Bridal Shower: Purpose, Who Attends, and Typical Activities
A joyful bride stands in front of her gifts at her bridal shower. Photo Credit: NATHAN MULLET
Purpose
A bridal shower is a celebration that focuses on helping the bride transition from singledom to married life.
Who Attends
Typically, female friends and relatives of all ages will attend a bridal shower, making it a girls’ day. However, coed showers are on the rise, meaning both male and female guests, as well as the groom, are in attendance!
Key Points
Gift-giving, typically home-related items
Games
Crafts & activities
Happens in the daytime
Engagement Party: Purpose, Who Attends, and Timing
A newly engaged couple shows off the ring. Photo Credit: Michael Negrete
Purpose
An engagement party celebrates the promise to wed and introduces key people in the couple’s life. It’s meant to act as an initiation for the blending of family and friend groups.
Who Attends
Family members, friends, and even co-workers will attend the engagement party. It’s hosted in the months right after the actual engagement.
Key Points
Formal or casual
Coed guest list
Often hosted at night
Small gifts and tokens of celebration
Bachelorette Party: Purpose, Who Attends, and Atmosphere
A bride to enjoys some downtime during her bachelorette party. Photo Credit:
Yael Hofnung
Purpose
A bachelorette party is a fun gathering for the bride and her closest friends before the wedding. It can be a local evening out or a destination trip, depending on what the bride wants!
Who Attends
Usually, the bridal party and the bride’s best friends. In the past, themed bachelorette parties have been girls-only adventures, but the bride can choose any friend of any gender she wants to include!
Key Points
Night out on the town or a weekend getaway
Focus on fun and bonding
An escape from the rigors of planning
A “last night out” before the big day
When to Host Each Event
Engagement Party Timeline
An engagement party is hosted about one to three months after the couple’s engagement announcement.
This allows close friends and family the opportunity to congratulate the couple early in the process and celebrate the start of wedding planning.
Bridal Shower Timeline
The bridal shower is among the final events of the journey to the altar. It happens 1-3 months before the wedding date.
This gives the bride a well-needed break. It also gives enough time for guests to purchase registry items she will need to set up or enhance her new or existing home.
Bachelorette Party Timeline
The bachelorette party is the last event before the bride says “I Do.” It happens 1-6 weeks before the wedding if it’s a local event or a few months out if it’s a destination trip.
The aim is to give everyone time to plan an itinerary and budget for travel or activities while respecting the fact that they will need funds for the wedding day itself.
Guest Lists & Invitations
The invitations at guests’ first glimpse at the theme of your event. Photo Credit: Stacey Vandas
Engagement Party Guest List
An engagement party should include people who will definitely be invited to the wedding. So family members, close friends, co-workers, and any established plus-ones you expect to attend.
Bridal Shower Guest List
A bridal shower guest list includes close female relatives and friends of the bride. Co-ed is also an option if that’s what the bride wants. You can invite people who aren’t invited to the wedding, but it’s not considered polite.
Bachelorette Party Guest List
This guest list will be the smallest of the three celebrations. Invite the bride’s closest friends plus any bridal party members. This will be a more intimate guest list than other events, so don’t worry about drumming up a crowd!
Invitation Etiquette
As you plan your invitations for each event, align your guest lists with those who are also invited to the wedding. It is considered rude to invite people to pre-wedding events but not the actual big day.
Make sure you offer plenty of notice, especially for destination bachelorette parties. Be clear with budget requirements, locations, and dates so guests can make an informed decision without overextending themselves.
Event Atmospheres & Activities
Bridal Shower Activities
You can expect the opening of gifts to be the main event at any bridal shower. Part of the charm is to ooh and aaah over the amazing gifts the bride gets!
There will also be some lighthearted shower games like bridal trivia or Bingo. Some also opt to host crafts or activities for the guests to keep them occupied.
Another hallmark of bridal showers are the speeches or wishing well sessions. Married ladies will give the bride their best tips on a happy, productive marriage and how to avoid or handle conflicts.
Engagement Party Activities
The focus of an engagement party is to mingle and enjoy each other’s company. There will be many toasts congratulating the happy couple on their commitment to each other.
Some couples opt for light entertainment, like dancing, to keep everyone in the festive spirit.
Bachelorette Party Activities
Bachelorette parties are all about fun, fun, fun! Expect fun activities or celebratory games that are personal and lively. Group outings, like a night out on the town, weekend trips, or relaxing spa days are also par for the course.
Finally, thematic experiences, like wine tours, outdoor adventures, or museums can occur during a bachelorette party. It all depends on what vibe the bride-to-be wants!
Gift-Giving Expectations
Beautifully wrapped gifts aren’t required at every pre-wedding event. Photo Credit: Wijdan Mq
Engagement Party Gifts
Gifts aren’t expected at engagement parties. They are often optional. Most guests feel comfortable bringing a small token like champagne or a congratulatory card.
Bridal Shower Gifts
Guests typically bring something to a bridal shower because it’s meant to “shower” the bride with gifts! You can expect the bride to receive practical and decorative household items, like kitchen appliances, towels, or bedding.
Many couples will create bridal shower registry ideas so guests will know exactly what they need.
Bachelorette Party Gifts
Gifts are not the main focus at bachelorette parties. Sometimes guests will offer a small novelty item or thoughtful token, but those are optional.
The real gift is the experience itself: the time guests spend with the bride doing activities and eating meals.
Etiquette & Traditions
Cultural Differences
Depending on the couple’s culture, some may favor an engagement party over a shower, using that opportunity for gifts. In some regions, bridal showers include co-ed guests or don’t involve games.
Instead, they feature bridal shower devotionals that are meant to help the bride adjust to her new role.
Changing Traditions
Many brides break from tradition by asking for small showers or combining the bridal shower with the bachelorette weekend.
Engagement parties can also be very casual, like a backyard barbecue over a sit down formal dinner, especially if the budget is tight.
Attire Suggestions
Attire for engagement party attendees should match the formality of the event. Casual events call for casual “Sunday Best” attire while evening events may call for cocktail attire.
Bridal showers are light and festive, so wear a daytime outfit that matches the vibe and theme of the event. Again, match the formality that was indicated on the invitation!
Finally, a bachelorette party will often require themed attire, like matching shirts or colored outfits. A relaxed weekend trip will call for bathing suits, light layers, and fancy attire to wear out on the town/.
Tips for Hosts & Guests
Party guests raise a toast to the bride and groom. Photo Credit:
Matthieu Joannon
Hosts
Congratulations! If you’re hosting one of these events, that means you’re near and dear to the happy couple. Make sure you coordinate with them about dates to avoid scheduling conflicts and to ensure everything you plan matches their desires.
Always keep your guests’ comfort in mind. Be transparent and considerate when it comes to budget, location, and activities.
Always be understanding if a guest has concerns about how much their participation in an event can cost. It’s best to ask ahead of time, especially if you’re planning a destination event.
Guests
If you’ve been invited to one of these events, RSVP as soon as you know whether or not you’ll be attending. This is critical for hosts so they can plan accordingly.
Check the invitation for any theme or dress code guidelines. If you’ve been asked to follow a theme, that means you’ll be an important part of the event’s aesthetic, so play along!
Finally, be mindful of group expenses, especially for bachelorette trips. Guests are expected to contribute to cover the bride’s costs in addition to their own, so make sure you can fit it into your budget.
Combining or Skipping Events
Combining Events
If the timeline or budget is limited, consider combining events. A joining engagement/bridal shower will carry the same celebratory vibe and keep costs low for the hosts and guests.
You can also plan a destination bachelorette and shower in one weekend, especially if guests are already traveling for the wedding itself. This will help cut costs for all while still allowing the bride-to-be to enjoy her friends and family!
Skipping Events
Of course, none of these events are required! Couples may opt out of all or some events due to personal preferences or cost considerations. They may also request alternatives, like a coed shower or joint bachelor/bachelorette adventure to replace larger, separate gatherings.
Common Questions
Do I Need to Have All Three Events?
Not necessarily. It’s a personal preference and depends on budget, schedule, and comfort.
Is a Co-ed Shower Appropriate?
Yes. Many couples host “couples showers” these days to include all friends and family.
Who Pays for the Bride at the Bachelorette Party?
Typically, bridesmaids split the bride’s costs. Guests share lodging, meals, and experiences.