A mixed gender party achieves balance with assigned colors for each side. Photo Credit: The Wedding Guys

Your bridal party is a huge source of support on your wedding day. Traditionally, attendants are separated by gender, with bridesmaids helping the bride and groomsmen supporting the groom.

Modern couples, however, are finding that the constraints of these traditional roles keep those closest to them from standing at their side on their wedding day. So more and more couples are opting for mixed gender bridal parties.

So what is a mixed-gender bridal party and what do you need to do to achieve the same aesthetic as a traditional bridal party? Here is everything you need to know to incorporate a coed bridal shower into your special day.

Understanding the Concept of Mixed-Gender Bridal Parties

A mixed-gender bridal party is when the bride and grooms’ attendants aren’t separated by gender, but organized by their connections to the happy couple.

Additionally, the bride and groom can choose their main attendant to be any gender rather than the groom having a best man and the bride having a maid of honor. Instead, he could choose a best woman and she could select a man of honor.

While it’s a break from tradition, it’s becoming more and more common for young couples to want their closest friends and relatives around them, regardless of their gender.

Societal norms are shifting and gone are the days where adults did not have friends of the opposite gender. Additionally, it may be more practical to keep each person’s friends and family close at hand.

Choosing Your Mixed-Gender Bridal Party

Choose mismatched bridemaids in the same color palette to ensure cohesion. Photo Credit: RockMyWedding

Creating your co-ed bridal party is just like choosing a traditional bridal party, only you aren’t limited by gender constraints. Focus on the relationships you have with people. Choose people who have stood by you through thick and thin and are reliable.

Ensure balance by working with your partner to choose bridesmaids and groomsmen of equal amounts on each side. Of course, uneven bridal parties are common, so if you have unbalanced friend groups or family sizes, you can still work with it!

Avoid hurt feelings by being transparent about who you’re choosing and why. You can also include other family members by giving them roles of honor, like usher, greeter, or reader at your ceremony.

This will allow you to include as many loved ones as possible without having a giant bridal party.

Coordinating Attire for a Mixed-Gender Bridal Party

A groomswomen’s outfit is feminine but connects to the groomsmen’s attire. Photo Credit: Apartment Therapy.

Just because you have a blended-gender bridal party doesn’t mean you will have to give up hope for coordinated outfits. There are lots of ways you can mix and match styles without making anyone feel out of place.

One option is to allow each attendant to pick whether they want to wear a suit or a dress. You can also have female attendants wear flowy jumpsuits so they look cohesive with the male attendants’ suits.

Another thing you can do is to choose complementary color ideas and accessories that will connect each bridal party member without compromising their preferred outfits.

For example, you can choose a palette of pastel colors for an ombre effect. Have male attendants wear neutral suits with accessories that match the dresses of the female attendants.

The key is to choose a color palette with neutrals and your wedding colors that your bridal party can choose from to craft unique but cohesive outfits that will make the group shine.

You can also assign a color to each side, ensuring that each palette complements and incorporates the other.

Assigning Roles With Different Genders

When planning your co-ed bridal party, you can opt for traditional roles, like maid of honor or best man, but use modern interpretations.

If the bride has a best male friend, he can act as the “man of honor” while the groom has a “best woman.” That way, no one has to compromise having those closest to them just because of their gender. If you can’t choose just one, establish co-best people.

You can also offer your bridal party inclusive duties that give them a place of honor. Ask them to give speeches, toasts, or assist you and your future spouse throughout the day. Another way to make your mixed-gender bridal party even more unique is to assign non-traditional wedding roles.

Make an adult the ring bearer or flower person. This will be a fun way to include those special people in your life and elicit a few chuckles from your guests.

Mixed-Gender Processional Ideas

Adult “flower guys” are a great, modern update to traditional wedding roles. Photo Credit: Laina Legler

As your unique bridal party walks down the aisle, you can get creative with pairings. You can have each person walk solo or pair them with someone of their preference.

Since you’ll have a greater height disparity with a mixed-gender bridal party, you’ll need to consider arranging your attendants by height. Place taller members towards the ends of the rows whether they are sitting or standing.

You can also incorporate cultural or personal elements into the processional to make it tailored to the happy couple.

For example, you can have attendants wearing outfits or accessories that celebrate the heritage of the bride and groom. They could also carry wedding bouquet alternatives, like light sabers or lanterns.

Planning Activities for a Mixed-Gender Bridal Party

A bachelorette party is made co-ed with some plaid PJs and unique labels. Photo Credit: Durpetti Events

Plan pre-wedding events that are inclusive to both genders and make everyone feel comfortable. You can combine the bachelor/bachelorette party so the entire bridal party spends an evening out on the town or takes a fun trip.

Plan group bonding activities that appeal to both genders, like escape rooms, cooking classes, or hikes.

You’ll also want to make accommodations for day-of activities for both genders as they get ready. You can organize by gender regardless of who is standing with the bride or groom so everyone has the correct amount of time to get ready and no one is waiting around.

Or you can get ready together, ensuring there’s enough space for privacy as needed.

Handling Questions or Criticism

When you break from tradition, you can expect to hear concerns and comments from family members or guests. First, you must remember that your wedding is all about you, so you shouldn't have to explain yourself.

If someone speaks out, simply tell them that your wedding day focuses on love and you are simply expressing your care for those closest to you.

If tradition is important to your family, you can still stay true to your vision while including those rituals tactfully. If your culture requires specific activities that are gendered, you can swap attendants with your spouse to ensure you don’t step on any toes.

Or you can calmly talk to your elders and let them know how special these people are to you. They may relent and understand that things change!

Not sure of how to address questions in a polite but firm way? Here are some suggestions:

“Thanks for asking! The groom and I decided that we valued relationships over traditional gender norms.”
“This person is acting as my man of honor because he’s my closest, most supportive friend!”
“The groom couldn’t imagine saying I do without his sister by his side.”
“Nowadays, lots of couples are choosing to fill their bridal party with their nearest and dearest of all genders.”

Photo Ideas for Mixed Genders

Editorial-style photos are the perfect match for mixed-gender bridal party photos. Photo Credit: Patina Photo + Video

When it’s time for photos, take your mixed-gender bridal party into consideration. You can choose to arrange by height on each side for a more balanced look, or stagger for a more modern look.

Arrange your bridal party in alternating genders, so visually, the photos look traditional but special. Highlight individual personalities while ensuring cohesive visuals.

Ask your photographer to prioritize candid shots in mixed groups and individual poses as the day goes on. Select backdrops that make your bridal party stand out.

Ask your photographer for input on how to arrange the best photos for your group. Chances are they have a lot of expertise to share!

Take group photos to the next level by including both playful and elegant shots. Give everyone subtle cues for facial expressions or poses that will make their personalities blend together to create a fun photo. Ask the photographer to be clear as to which photos are more formal and elegant and which have room for playful poses!

Additionally, prep your bridal party ahead of time with expectations for photos, especially if you don’t want any crude shots of poses.

Concluding the Party

Your wedding is a celebration of your love for your future spouse. It’s also a chance for you to honor those closest to you.

A mixed-gender bridal shower allows you to have your biggest supporters at your side on your big day rather than across the aisle. Don’t let comments from family members and friends deter you from achieving your wedding vision.

With a little planning and creativity, your unique wedding party will be as lovely as a more traditional set up. So follow your heart and surround yourself with love!

How to Make a Mixed Gender Bridal Party Work