Navigating How to Say "No Children" at Your Wedding
Flower girl staring at a young boy.
Adult-only weddings are becoming more and more popular every year. More couples are also becoming increasingly comfortable customizing their weddings to fit their lifestyles and desires (as they should.) And the truth is: not every couple wants children at their wedding - and that is okay.
After all, it is your day, money, and marriage, so why can’t you? Theoretically, you can! The trouble usually stems from expectations from friends and family and navigating this choice. Oftentimes, family or friends may become upset when they learn they cannot bring their children to your wedding, and most couples don’t know how to state this rule gently.
This also rings true for destination wedding wording. Couples often feel pressured to follow traditional methods and have weddings in everyday locations or include the whole family. Therefore, sometimes it can be hard to know how to deliver news you know your guests probably won’t like.
But fear not - when you reach the bottom of this article, you’ll know how to say “no children” at your wedding with confidence!
Why Do Couples Choose a “No Children” Wedding?
While there could be one hundred different reasons why a couple may not want kids at their wedding, there are usually some common ones, such as:
Venue Restrictions - If the couple booked their wedding at an adults-only resort or a location unsuitable for children, they may not feel comfortable having children attend or may be forbidden from allowing them to. Some venues may also ask the renters not to invite children if they have many expensive items or if there are safety concerns they could end up responsible for, such as ponds, pools, or large amounts of alcohol.
Budget Constraints - Although children are often cheaper on food and drinks than adults, it still costs money to host them at a wedding. Some venues that price costs at a per-person level may even count each child as a guest. This could drive up costs significantly. Many couples may not have the budget to cover these extra costs, or they may only be able to afford a certain number of guests.
Personal Preferences - Some couples just don’t want kids at their wedding. It’s that simple. It’s not mean or intentionally hurtful. It’s just their preference. And when you’re spending thousands or tens of thousands of dollars to celebrate your love exactly how you want to, you don’t want to compromise on much. Let’s face it: kids can be loud, destructive, and require a close eye all evening. Some couples just don’t want the added stress on their big day.
Wording Examples to Tell Your Guests Your Wedding Is Child-Free
Each couple has their unique preferences and styles. So, of course, there is no one-size-fits-all to telling guests your wedding is child-free. You’ll want to do it in your own way. Luckily, there are several approaches you can take.
Direct Approaches
If you want to make your point clear without much fluff, try wording like this.
“Based on our personal preferences, we ask that you do not bring children to the wedding.”
“While we welcome you to our event, we kindly ask that you leave your children at home.”
“We can’t wait to celebrate our big day with you. Please make other arrangements for your children.”
“We are planning a child-free wedding. We kindly ask that you respect our wishes.”
“Our wedding is child-free.”
“Sorry, but we are not allowing children at our event.”
“Our wedding is for guests 18 and older.”
“Please leave any guests under 16 at home.”
“Our big day is only open to adults.”
“Children are not able to attend this event. Thank you for understanding.”
Considerate Approaches
Sometimes, a direct approach can feel like a bit too much. Or maybe you want to let your family and friends down gently. If you want to take a more gentle or considerate approach, try some wording like this.
“While we would love to celebrate with everyone, we’ve decided to make our wedding child-free.”
“We’re so excited to celebrate with you! While this may not be ideal, we are planning a child-free wedding.”
“Please come celebrate our adult-only wedding with us!”
“We know it can be hard to find child care. Sorry, but our wedding is child-free.”
“To fully soak up every moment, we’ve decided to make our wedding child-free. Thank you for understanding.”
“We’re sorry if this causes an inconvenience, but we’ve agreed upon a “no children” event.”
“Please understand this decision was hard, but we ask that you do not bring children to our event.”
“This decision was tough, but we prefer no children at our wedding celebration.”
“Based on personal preference, we ask that you do not bring children to our event. Please know this decision was made with good intentions in mind.”
“We love your children, but we’d prefer a child-free wedding. Please respect our wishes.”
A young boy dressed for a wedding.
Humorous Approaches
Sometimes, the best way to cope with awkward or unwanted situations is with humor! If you’re feeling up to giving your guests a little chuckle while delivering the news, try some of these cute punchlines.
“We love the kiddos, but this party is rated PG-18.”
“Come for the love, stay for the champagne – adults only!”
“Our wedding is child-free, so you can be as carefree as you please!"
“We're trading juice boxes for cocktails; 18+ only!”
“It's a kid-free zone, but we promise the inner child in you will have a blast!”
“Tiny tots take the night off; we're celebrating in grown-up style!”
“It's a night off for parents! Adults only, please.”
“The only feet we want to hear running are on the dance floor! Adults only, please.”
“Let's keep the tantrums to a minimum; adults only."
“We hope you understand, but this is a 'no sippy cups' event."
If You Have Venue or Budget Restrictions
If you’re trying to navigate how to say “no children” at your wedding, but it’s due to venue or budget restrictions, you can approach the concept a little differently. If it makes you more comfortable or takes some of the heat off you and your partner, you can shift the decision away from yourselves. Try some wording like this.
“We wish we could celebrate with everyone, but we just don’t have enough room. Due to this space restriction, we ask that you leave your children at home.”
“We unfortunately don’t have enough room for everyone. To allow all our adult guests the chance to celebrate with us, we ask that you leave your children at home.”
“Money doesn’t grow on trees, and unfortunately, we cannot afford to invite everyone. For this reason, we kindly ask that you don’t bring your children so all of our adult guests can attend.”
“While our love is unlimited, our budget isn’t. For this reason, we ask that only adults attend.”
“Our venue is adults-only. While this isn’t a decision we would’ve made, it is one we have to honor. We hope you can understand.”
“Unfortunately, due to our venue’s restrictions, we won’t be allowed to invite children to our celebration.”
“Child safety is important, and our venue is not an appropriate place for children. To keep our event stress-free and follow our venue’s guidelines, please avoid bringing children.”
“Due to policies we cannot control, we won’t be able to allow any children at the ceremony or reception.”
“While we’re excited to see your child again soon, it unfortunately won’t be on our big day. Our budget doesn’t allow room for children. We hope you understand.”
“While we would love to celebrate our love with your children, our venue is adults-only.”
What if I Want to Invite Some Children But Not Others?
Children dressed for an upscale affair.
This can be the toughest scenario by far. By saying “yes” or “no” to all children, there’s no room left for interpretation. It’s one or the other. But when you make exceptions, some guests may try to convince you to allow their children to attend or complain when other children are allowed.
While this doesn’t defeat the initiative, it can create tense feelings. If you plan to take this approach, it’s best to only allow a certain group of children, immediate family members. This way, there is no room for interpretation and it completely makes sense. Of course, you want your niece, nephew, or cousin to attend.
If you think it would be easier, feel free to leave this off the invitation and let your immediate family members know their children are excluded from this rule. If you want to add it to your invitation, consider some language like this.
“We are hosting an adults-only celebration. While you may see a few children in attendance, please know they are immediate family members.”
“We are asking for a child-free wedding, but our wedding wouldn’t be complete without our flower girl and ring bearer. Therefore, they will be in attendance.”
“Due to space restrictions, we are only able to extend invitations to children in our immediate family. Thank you for understanding.”
“While we are planning a child-free wedding, we know babies under 1 year need their parents. Therefore, any child under 1 year old is permitted to the celebration.”
“We love all your children, but only children in the immediate family will be able to attend our event. Thank you for understanding.”
How to Approach Your “No Children” Announcement
Be Understanding - While it can be frustrating to receive backlash for your decision, you can handle it with grace. Try to be understanding about where your guest or family member may be coming from. This does not mean you need to give in and allow them to bring their children but try to be kind if you can.
Be Prepared - Child care is expensive and unreachable for some. This can result in a guest who may have been able to attend with their children to end up declining your invitation, even if they don’t want to. Be prepared to receive some declined RSVPs for this reason.
Stick by Your Decision - If this was decided on by you and your partner, do not let anyone else try and convince you to change your request. It may not be ideal for some guests, but it is your big day. Therefore, it is your decision to make whether it is accepted or not. You may receive some backlash, but stand your ground.
Final Thoughts
However you decide to let your guests know your wedding is child-free, be sure you communicate clearly. With decisions as important as this, it’s better to overcommunicate your wishes so all guests are crystal clear rather than beating around the bush to deliver the news softly.
A “no children” wedding is not a bad thing. It provides more opportunities to be carefree, listen to NSFW music, drink, dance, and enjoy your celebration without worrying about the safety of the children. While some guests may take the news hard, most of them will understand.
Empathize with your guests, but stand by your decision.