Beautiful Indonesian Wedding Traditions

Located north of Australia, Indonesia is known for its breathtaking scenery and stunning beaches. There, you’ll find countless natural attractions, like mountains, tropical forests, and sea caves, that draw in millions of tourists each year.

Indonesia is also home to a rich culture with deep-rooted traditions, especially when it comes to weddings. From ornate jewelry and clothing to symbolic gifts, no matter which ethnicity or tribe you focus on, like Bali traditions, there are beautiful wedding traditions filled with meaning.

If you have roots in Indonesia, are marrying someone with an Indonesian background, or are enamored with the culture, here are some amazing Indonesian wedding traditions you can incorporate into your wedding to honor this special country.

Traditions Before The Wedding

Palang Pintu

Palang pintu translates to “latch” or “door barrier.” Before he can marry his bride, the groom must walk through this doorway. This is a test meant for the groom to receive the approval of his bride.

The groom will bring a family member or “champion” and speak in rhymes with a male member of the bride’s family to gain access to the bride's home.

The exchange is usually humorous and ends in a pretend fight. The champion always wins, meaning the groom has broken down the barrier and can meet with his bride.

Sabaian

This unique ritual occurs during a meeting between the two families. During this time, they apologize for any mistakes that have been made.

This is meant to clear the air and start the union off on a clean slate. During this time, families will also discuss the dowry or get to know each other ahead of the wedding date.

Some Time Apart

As the wedding day approaches, the groom is not allowed to see the bride for several days before the ceremony makes their union official.

Some cultures also require that the bride and groom avoid being seen in the bathroom by others, but this is becoming less popular, especially depending on where the couple lives.

The night before the ceremony, the family members of the bride and groom will meet and exchange bride gifts. This is called seserahan and is the final blessing the couple needs before the big day!

Tokencai

Before they travel to the ceremony, the groom will arrive at the bride's house. She is hidden within the house with a makeup artist, who will prepare her for the day and take place in this ritual.

The groom must recite pantun and meet whatever requirements the make up artist requires. Then, he can pick up his pride and proceed to the ceremony!

Indonesian Wedding Ceremony Rituals

Siraman

The first ritual of the three-day celebration, siraman is reserved for close family members. The bride and groom’s families take a mixture made from flowers and water and shower the couple.

This cleansing tradition represents the last time the parents bathe their children and reminds them of how their families cared for them. After this, the bride is dressed as royalty and taken to a room for the night.

She will spend this evening with her female relatives from both sides. Some will require the groom to sleep in a home nearby, but in modern times, the bride and groom will sleep in their loved ones homes or a hotel so they can maintain their distance.

A Civil Wedding

On day two, the couple will meet for a civil wedding. This is when the guests will join in and witness the couple as they sign their wedding documents.

From here, the couple will throw betel nut leaves at their partner to scare away evil spirits. Once the signing is complete, they will ask for additional blessings from their elders, including grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles.

Meuleum Harupat

Before the wedding procession, the groom will present the bride with seven sticks. She will light them on fire. This represents the fiery wrath of anger that can surface during a marriage.

The groom will dip the burning sticks in water to extinguish the flame, which represents how each spouse can soothe each other’s anger with love and affection. This beautiful, symbolic ritual is breathtaking to watch.

Post Wedding Traditions

An Indonesian bride and her groom walking down the aisle together. Image by Strictly Weddings.

Pathway to the Reception

As the bride and groom enter the reception hall, they make their way down a procession of their extended family, friends, and other guests.

They will greet each person with a smile or handshake. Following them will be the young people of their families, who carry a chain of flowers.

The procession is impressive and takes quite a bit of time, especially for larger weddings. Once the bride and groom reach the end, they are met with a performance from traditional dancers. When the dance concludes, they can take their seats at their table.

The First Meal Together

Before the wedding reception, the happy couple will sit down to enjoy their first meal as husband and wife. The guests will watch them share their first bites.

Then guests will be invited to eat as well. During this time, guests will also be invited to the stage to give speeches about the happy couple.

These speeches contain blessings and happy memories and allow guests to share their hopes for a long, happy marriage.

It’s common for people to skip the ceremony and attend the reception to enjoy refreshments. They will greet the bride and groom in between courses. Once they’ve eaten, there will be an opportunity to dance and mingle with other guests.

Traditional Entertainment

During the reception, it’s common for families to book traditional entertainment for guests to enjoy as they mingle. Wayang, or a puppet show, is a popular choice, as are comedians and traditional dancers.

These ornate puppets are beautiful and used to tell many different stories, but love stories are most popular for this type of event! Traditional music and dance are also featured during Indonesian weddings.

Dancers will wear ornate costumes and perform pieces that have been performed at weddings for generations. The Angklung, or a musical instrument made from bamboo, is one of the many instruments you’ll find at an Indonesian wedding.

Guest Expectations at an Indonesian Wedding

Guests cheering on the bride and groom posing on a lawn. Image by Strictly Weddings.

Indonesian weddings are extremely important events because it’s considered the starting point of the couple's life together. Guest lists include all relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances.

Additionally, even if you haven't been named on the invitation, it’s acceptable for you to attend the wedding as long as it isn’t a sit-down dinner or invitation that specifies a certain number of guests.

That’s because Indonesian culture dictates that the families are truly honored by your presence during this special time. If you ignore a wedding invitation, this can be seen as a significant insult.

So while you aren’t required to accept every invitation, it is polite to respond. The dress code for Indonesian weddings is always elevated. Women should plan to wear a modest, elegant dress and men should wear a suit or even a batik with slacks.

Female guests aren’t required to cover their heads during the ceremony, but you may see some family members do so if they are Muslim.

It’s also customary to bring gifts to the wedding. Indonesian weddings are usually the occasion to gift household goods. For larger weddings, it’s not unusual for couples to receive multiple of the same type of gift.

Don’t worry, they will return them or find a use around their home. Blenders, rice cookers, and mixers are popular choices. However, check the invitation closely because some couples add the wording “Without belittling your generosity, we’d prefer if you didn’t give us gifts or flowers.”

This is the polite way of asking for money instead of gifts! So bring an envelope with your monetary gift and place it in the beautifully decorated box at the reception.

Conclusion

Indonesian weddings are filled with beautiful, meaningful traditions that allow the bride and groom to connect with their culture during the happiest time of their lives.

These traditions can be incorporated with Western wedding traditions to create a celebration that is unique to you and your future spouse.

Remember, when you are including Indonesian wedding traditions in your ceremony or reception, always be respectful of the culture. Avoid using rituals if you have no connection to the area.

At the end of the day, your wedding day is about you, so be sure to curate each detail to reflect your heritage and love for your partner.