Timeless & Modern Chinese Wedding Traditions & Practices

 
A couple exchanges rings while wearing traditional Chinese garments.

A couple exchanges rings while wearing traditional Chinese garments. Photo Credit: Arisa Chattasa

 

The Significance of Chinese Wedding Traditions

Historical Context

China is a beautiful country with ancient origins. When planning a wedding, their traditions are rooted in Confucian beliefs and customs that date back thousands of years. All rituals are meant to emphasize harmony, prosperity, and a deep respect for ancestors. 

Much like Indonesian wedding traditions, Chinese weddings are more than just a union between two families. It’s a cultural experience that looks to the past, present, and future for meaning and beauty. 

Symbolism and Meaning

Symbols of Good Fortune

In China, good luck and happiness are the highlights of any celebration, but especially a wedding. The color red is used to symbolize these ideals. So everything from the decor to wedding clothes are red! 

Role of Family

Familial bonds are highlighted in Chinese wedding traditions. Many rituals have a strong focus on honoring elders and seeking their approval for the union and beyond. 

Pre-Wedding Traditions

The hair-combing ceremony represents a transition to adulthood.

The hair-combing ceremony represents a transition to adulthood. Photo Credit: Kenneth Lim. 

Proposal and Betrothal 

It’s not uncommon for modern couples to get engaged the Western way with a proposal and a ring. Traditionally, Chinese couples depend on their families and matchmakers to find the right partner for them. 

Family elders will meet to arrange marriages, using match-makers input to guide their choice. Matchmakers use each person’s birthday and family lineage to determine whether or not it’s a good match.

Specific criteria apply and are said to predict how well the couple will get along. Once the proposal is made, The Six Etiquettes, or Liu Li, must take place, including the Exchange of Betrothal Gifts or Guo Da Li.

The groom’s family presents gifts to the bride’s family as a sign of respect. Common gifts include wine, tea, sweets, and items that symbolize cultural beliefs, like phoenix and dragon candles. 

Choosing a Wedding Date

After presenting the gifts, the families will work together to select the wedding date. The matchmaker will consult the lunar calendar, choosing the most auspicious date based on numerology and astrology.

They will avoid any days that may be seen unlocked or are seen to bring bad luck. 

Hair Combing Ceremony ("Shang Tou")

Another pre-wedding ritual is the Shang Tou, or Hair Combing Ceremony. This is a rite of passage that is performed the night before the wedding.

It signifies the transition into adulthood for the bride and groom. A respected elder will comb the couple’s hair while reciting blessings and good wishes. 

Traditional Wedding Attire

 

Chinese wedding garments incorporate lucky symbols, like the color red, phoenix, and dragons. Photo Credit: OK Crowe Photography. 

 

The Bride's Attire

The bride will wear a Qipao or Cheongsam dress, a form-fitting red dress adorned with intricate gold embroidery reflecting her family’s symbols. She will also wear a phoenix crown or bridal headdress.

These items symbolize beauty and good fortune. Some modern brides will wear a Western white dress for their reception to blend the two traditions together. 

The Groom's Attire

On his wedding day, the groom will wear a Changshan, or traditional long robe. This could be red or black and will contain similar gold embroidery and intricate details. On his head, he could wear a black hat with a red tassel. 

Symbolic Colors and Embroidery

There are colors and symbols in Chinese culture that are essential for wedding attire. The color red is the joy and prosperity. It’s the main color used throughout all Chinese weddings to help the couple start their union on the right foot. 

Dragon and phoenix motifs represent the male and female energies. They are said to promote harmony in marriage. Coins are also used to represent wealth and abundance. 

The Wedding Day Rituals

 
The tea ceremony is an important part of a Chinese wedding.

The tea ceremony is an important part of a Chinese wedding. Photo Credit: Arisa Chattasa

 

The Door Games ("Jie Hun Men")

On the wedding day, bridesmaids set up games and tasks for the groom to prove his worth. They may include balancing grains of rice or throwing oranges through holes in a board while blindfolded. These games are all good fun! 

Red Envelopes ("Hongbao")

The groom will offer red envelopes filled with money, known as Hongbao, to the bridal party members and bride’s family to gain entry into the bridal suite. 

The Tea Ceremony

This tradition honors the parents and elders of the bride and groom. They serve tea to their families in the traditional way. This is a sign of gratitude and respect. 

In return, the elders present the couple with gifts of jewelry and money in red envelopes. 

Bridal Procession ("Ying Qin")

Next, the bride will make her way to the altar in the Yin Qin or bridal procession. Traditionally, she will be transported in a sedan chair carried by hired staff.

In modern times, the bride will use decorated cars. Fireworks and music will be set off along the bridal procession route to ward off evil spirits and alert the community to the happy union. 

The Wedding Banquet

 
Chinese banquets are ornate and elaborate.

Chinese banquets are ornate and elaborate. Photo Credit: Hitchbird

 

Venue and Decor

Once the vows have been exchanged, the wedding banquet will take place in a lavish setting. Typically, they are held in hotels or banquet halls adorned with red decor and gold accents.

You’ll see an abundance of the Double Happiness Symbols, or Xi, prominently displayed around the area. These represent joy. 

Traditional Foods

During the wedding feast, symbolic dishes will be served. Serving whole fish represents abundance. Noodles, the longer the better, symbolize longevity. Dumplings filled with a variety of meats and vegetables represent wealth. 

Toasts and Performances

During the banquet, guests will profess their joy to the happy couple. Yam Seng toasts involve guests cheering loudly for the couple's happiness. Elders and special friends and family members will also give toasts. 

No Chinese wedding banquet is complete without entertainment! Lion dances, unique musical performances, and cultural shows will fill the evening with life and enjoyment. 

Changing Outfits

A traditional Chinese bride will change her dress at least three times throughout her wedding day. There will be a dress for the tea ceremony, a dress for the wedding ceremony and at least one for the reception banquet. 

Post-Wedding Traditions

Three-Day Return ("San Chao Hui Men")

Three days after the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom will visit the bride’s family to pay respects and spend time with them. This symbolizes ongoing family ties. It also reinforces the bond between the bride and her family. 

Red Chamber Bridal Room

Family members will prepare the couple’s room for them to enjoy after the wedding banquet. It is decorated with red bedding and Chinese symbols for fertility.

Good Luck Children, traditionally young boys, will jump on the bed to bless the couple with offspring. 

Modern Spins

 
Incorporating Western traditions is a popular choice for modern couples who still want to honor their Chinese heritage.

Incorporating Western traditions is a popular choice for modern couples who still want to honor their Chinese heritage. Photo Credit: Hassaan Malik

 

Modern couples may integrate Western elements into their traditional Chinese wedding. Brides can choose to have a Western-style dress in their outfit rotation in addition to their traditional attire.

Weddings may also be helped in modern settings that incorporate traditional rituals and decor as well. 

Some couples choose to condense or omit certain customs to ensure their wedding fits into a specific timeline. They may also incorporate personal touches that reflect their unique story while also embracing their culture. 

Cultural Etiquette

Wedding guests should avoid black and white, options for bright colors.

Wedding guests should avoid black and white, options for bright colors. Photo Credit: Bride and Breakfast HK

Gift-Giving Practices

If invited to a Chinese wedding, guests are expected to bring Hongbao, or red envelopes, filled with auspicious amounts of money rather than physical gifts.

The number 8 is highly favored, while the number 4 is viewed as unlucky. The amount a guest gives should also reflect their relationship with the bride and groom as well as how lavish the ceremony is. 

Dress Code for Guests

Guests should avoid wearing black or white to a Chinese wedding. These colors are typically associated with mourning. 

Instead, wear bright colors, especially red, to show how happy you are for the couple. The formality of the clothing should reflect the formality of the event. 

Respecting Traditions

No matter your culture, participate in customs and rituals as required by the couple. You may be invited to partake in toasts or even the tea ceremony. Understand their significance and honor the tradition to show respect. 

Symbolism in Decor and Details

 

Symbols play a huge role in Chinese weddings. Photo Credit: 
Stacie Ong

 

Use of Numbers

Lucky numbers will play a huge role in the decor and details of the event. Here is a list of the most coveted numbers as well as one to be avoided. 

  • Lucky Numbers

Eight ("Ba") - Sounds like wealth.

Nine ("Jiu") - Symbolizes eternity.

  • Unlucky Numbers

Four ("Si"): Sounds like death; generally avoided.

Floral Arrangements

The floral arrangements contain some important stems. Peonies represent wealth and honor. Lotus flowers symbolize purity and harmony. You’ll likely see these buds used in elaborate centerpieces and the bride’s bouquet, if she chooses to carry one. 

The Role of Astrology and Superstitions

Astrology and superstitions play a huge role in the planning of a Chinese wedding. Elders will consult the stars before selecting the dates and times of the event.

The couple’s star chart will be heavily studied to ensure they are compatible. Specific matches, times, and dates are chosen to maximize good fortune. 

Identifying inauspicious elements is just as important. Elders will consider the Feng Shui, or placement of objects and overall flow of the event space. They will also take precautions to appease superstitions.

For instance, they will remove any items that are grouped in fours and cover mirrors, which are believed to reflect and amplify bad luck. 

Concluding the Ceremony

Chinese wedding traditions offer a rich blend of history, culture, and symbolism that create a profound and joyous celebration.

Embracing these customs, whether in their traditional form or adapted for modern times, adds depth and meaning to the union of two families.

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